Living by faith

It is funny how God reminds us how to live our life depending on Him all the time. All my Christian life (until now, mind you I am still a young one :] ), I still have trouble believing that God is larger than the situation I am facing. Pastor Mal was preaching on living life by faith this Sunday morning and yup, it is God passing His reminder on me again.

The other day, I skipped my usual Friday Church meeting so I can help out in the Mooncake Festival helping my college organised. Brilliant event which has so much potential to explode into chaos, which did not (this story for another time). By the time I managed to escape the clutches of after party cleanup Kwee (my friend) and I quickly ran home, hoping to catch the next possible bus back to Sub.

By the time we reached there, it was nearly 22.50 and there was no bus in sight. Asking the bus operator revealed that we will have to wait for the last bus (at 23.30) to take us home. Now, the plot thickens - I need to take a connecting bus into USJ (last bus at 0.00) or else I will have to pretend to be homeless for a night.

All those time I have always wondered if the 23.30 bus will be able to make to Sub in time. I guess the bus operator was trying to reassure me everytime I asked.

Finally, we got onto the bus and slowly rumbled through the night along LDP 23.32 onwards.

When my friend finally got off at his stop, I was alone in the bus, at the mercy of the not-so-happy-looking bus driver. When my stop came, I quickly got off and ran toward the connecting bus at 23:57. The smilling bus driver told me that the lucky fellow I am did not miss this bus to PJ Utama.

"PJ? But, but.." "Oh, it is ok, I can drop you somewhere near by (while you figure how you get to your place)" "errr.. Ok, thanks"

So off I got a few stops later waiting at the side of the road feeling a little nervous. The next few minutes was pretty tense. I was in a delima, I could call sis to come or grab a taxi or play with the stray dog. I prayed to God a little and that calmed me, giving a little assurance that a bus will come grab me.

Sure enough, 5 years later a bus came and stole me away from the dark, lonliness of the night (sure, the was oddly a lot of traffic at that time).

Yeah, I managed to get home alright. =)

Thanks for reading. Will try to update soon. Till then, Cheers!

Two happy things happened

I got a 2.8!

And this from Matt Dunham of AP

Yup... Thank God for the first one. He answered my prayers =)

Thanks Matt for the second one. If someone can find a pic that is large enough for a decent size wallpaper, I would thank that person even more! *hint hint...

More good things are on the way... like getting to have dinner with a good friend on Wed the 16th, August 2006.

Shallow Deep

Deep thoughts, are something I lack. Heck, even to think simple stuff is hard for me. My mind wonders all the time, always seeking the easiest way to explain how things should work. Any more information than the quota allowed, it will flow beyond my mind like a, ermm... a burst pipe. That's right, burst pipe!

I grow up in a family where deep thoughts are common, each individual in the family thinks of different matters which concerns them for long period of time, seeking explanation and solutions. Wishing that I would at least have half that kind of capability, I practise this thought process by wondering what would be the best way to get lunch using the least amount of time and effort.

It won't be long before I make the same decision base on previous experience. Not much thinking required.

Of course, this in turn has a terrible effect on me. Some of it are:

• eating the same thing from the same place for a long period of time
• not much of a great conversationist. I rather have people do most of the talking while I chip in a little to make it sound like I am smart enough to understand.
• bad at self-evaluation, or sitting down quietly to reflect on important issues
• etc. (see?)

Why am I thinking of these all of a sudden? I am not too sure myself. I was talking to an old school mate online just now and stumbled upon a blog of an ex-collegemate on philosophy of life. The old school mate I talked to was surprised when she found out that I was studying architecture instead of what suited me more like journalism or social science. Sure, it is nice to sound sophisticated and philosophical, but it is dangerous teritory once people found out that you are an expert on bull-dunging.

The other thing was I realised that my ex-collegemate who has a very philosophical outlook of life was rather worried about human civilisation and how inadequet, or meaningless, or how much pretense or how people would eventually fail/lie.

I would jump in and tell her that, God is with us! And there should be no fear in life with Him on our side. And failure is because we are physically and spiritually inperfect due to our sin. However, there is a fear that it would not be enough satisfy her philosophical needs or whatever she thinks it is. (sidenote: I think the Matthew 3 comes in here, when John the Baptist went around baptising people with the simple message of v2."Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near". And that work! Relevance? Do not know. You tell me (grin) )

So coming back to the topic, which I no longer know how to continue because my mind has already overworked, I would like to conclude. If given a chance to be Pinky or Brain, I would rather be Pinky. Yep, dumb yet happy. What would be better is to be happy in the Name of the Lord. That would be a different topic altogether..

Cheers!

Irregularities

I am never for being constant. This is probably my 120th time I am trying to write an entry but again, I lost inspiration on what to write. Hmmm.. maybe that is my constant. So, here is an update on what I have been trying to occupy my holiday with (in point form).

• Meeting up with old school friends and church mates. I think I have neglected my college mates. errr...
  
• Book reading: Matthew, supposed to read Mark too =P
• Stufdying: Matthew, and how to set up a secure wireless network for my house
• Movie/Anime watching: 3 so far in the cinema, another 25 episodes of Bleach, and 26 episodes of Chobits.
• Said: Not that I can remember but this are two things that stayed in my mind for a long time. Both to dad

Dad: Why is your closet so messy?
Me: Err.. I have not reached there yet.
Dad: What do you mean have not reached there yet? When are you going to finish cleaning your room? December?
Me: No lah, can finish by September.
Dad: Huuh... smart alec, come here!..
Me: run...!!

*****

Dad: If you are perfect like me, then you do not need God.
Me: Then why do you need insurance coverage for your workers?
Dad: (pause)
Me: See like work, God is the best insurance, and gives good assurance too!
Dad: (his classic speechless grin)
Mom: Charm liao (Oh oh..), see your son can outwit you liao..

*****

Fan: you want to watch Lady in the water with us? Or are you too scared?
Me: I can, but I need to ask my mom first!
Fan: Fine, come out with more excuse..
Me: OK, ok. But still have to ask my mom first! (thus little Jack was pressured into watching a movie in which he giggled and laughed all the way although it has a pretty serious message behind it.)

So, once again, I am going to leave this post hanging again with a bad ending. I see another constant here. Cheers!

Note: Most conversation has been paraphrased.

Love Stories - Introduction

Love, is everywhere. Yup. And mine is exciting as empty flat table collecting dust. Or is it more like molds growing on bread? I do not know.

Not that I am complaining about the lack of love in my life. My life is filled with it, especially from God, family and friends. Also the love for sleeping, watching movie/anime and reading newspaper, and this.. and that..

Today I am telling stories of love from an audience point of view (POV). I have been listening to and watching several stories to share in online. This is what long holidays do to you. So, the first one is the movie: The Break Up by Vince what-his-name and Jennifer Anniston. The show is about how they broke up and wanting to get each other jealous.

Watching it with friends (especially girls when you think it is a romantic comedy) is fun (until you realise that it is anything but). There are lots to learn (from this not-so-romantic drama).

At the end of the movie, the girl (old school friend) sitting next to me jumped on me (not literally) with the question: "Don't you think it is the guy's fault?"

Huh?? I was caught off guard. So to play it safe, I told the girl that it is the guy's fault for being so duh and self-centred, but it is also the dame's fault too for not making it clear to him too. Well, my friend became speachless for a few seconds but still insisted that it was the guy's fault indirectly.

But to think of it, you cannot put the blame entirely on one side. Because relationships are meant to be two ways instead of one. I can boldly tell you that the guy is just plain silly for being self-centred, but would I repeat the same mistake I see? Sure, he had good intentions of being nice and cheering the girlfriend up and yet he did it badly. Sigh... seems like there are so much to learn in a relationship.

However, this is my opinion. I think I wrote with my points all over the place. So please have mercy on me if you are lost. For a clearer picture, please read the Christian POV about this movie.

Enough of POVs for now. Next time lah..

Cheers!

Too!

Things these days come in two. Just to stress this point a little...

• Two different type of busses needed to travel to Boarders from Subang, via Putra Bus and free shuttle bus from Kelana Jaya station. Did I say the shuttle bus is free?
  
• Both bus company offered new time table of new routes (which I picked up because I had nothing to read)
• The bus is not a friendly place to sleep, even when you think the IKANO shuttle bus is very comfortable - I knocked my head twice (rather painfully) on the window panel when my head fell forward. That fake cushion on the panel? Fake and hard.
• Boarders (book shop) has two levels and elveators too.
  

Other things that happened twice are

• I had to have lunch twice because two different group of friends called at two different time (from the same college)
• Changed computer twice because of lousy Streamyx connection which seem to happen quite regularly in college
• Saw two pretty good looking women on the way in to Borders
• Confirmed twice that they were pretty good looking men.
• Once when one spoke, the other when my friend told me loudly enough to make me want to run.

On the other hand, it was nice going going to prayer meeting on Tuesdays again. Was refreshing. That kind of reminds me how much lacking in my quiet time and how much more I need God. Yup... Till then.. Will try to post something soon.

Cheers!

Breathe, slowly...

Finally, all is done! Homework, project, assignment and everything within that category is finally done. Yes, I think I am alive. I need to start thinking of ways to fill the next two to three weeks of holiday until college classes restart again. However, I have a bad feeling that this sem's results aren't going to turn out well. With so many late and last minute work (most of them not nicely done too), it sure is going to make the results look bad.

So, I am just praying and hoping that God will bless me good results. I do not know how that will happen. But just hoping and praying...

cheers!

Insecurity

The biggest fear I guess I will ever have is the fear of rejection. Or at least that is in my mind. Having the feeling of being rejected is pretty bad. Even when it seems far away in the horizon. It is really bad when every non-respond from someone you care for or know is seen as an act of rejection.

I am bad at keeping in contact with people I once met. Most of the time, it will either die a fast heart attack or a slow painful death (akward is more like it). This seems to be the case especially when I just came back from an architecture workshop two weeks back. That was when I have to come out from my comfort zone to meet people, dreading the same scenario would repeat. Not too bad so far considering there are people who are actually keen in meeting up with people they met during the workshop. So currently, I am just hoping, hoping that history will not repeat

Sigh... this will be a short post. It is deadline season again. Next one will be before I succumb homework pressure.

*This is one of those time again. Don't worry just yet.. muahahahah....

Dad's advise

"Suffer in silence. It is for the best. You do not want more than you bargain for," (paraphrased) says dad. In a few hours, I will be gone on a long peaceful (hopefully) journey to Penang. Hopefully we will be able to have a few hours of peace every once in a while the whole time we are there. It is the duty of a relative to visit another, even if it means that we will receive constant scolding from the elderly.

Symptons

IF you have the following symptons:

1. uncontrollable cough
2. unstopable nose leaking
3. unbelievable sore throat
4. unimaginable headache
5. unceasable sneezing

Then, I am sorry that you have flu. Sorry but you have been registered as a flu virus carrier. Just like me. But no worries, with enough rest and a good Medical Cert (MC) from a good doctor, and the wonderful help of God. All will be gone soon.

oh, Happy B'day Poh! Who is officially 1 year away from being an elligible voter for Malaysia if she comes back from Aussie land. :)

When architecture students do performing arts... (photos)

It is true when they say that architecture students are crazy and stressed all the time. So some decided to turn to performing arts to destress...



































Mrs. Doubtfire















Grimlins

















Woman-with-problem-asks-MCA-for-help Show















Talk-is-cool-and-cheap Show

Your Basic Rights

"Howdy, officer? Is there anything wrong?"

What do you do when you are stopped by a police? I recieved an e-mail with a link to a website which informs you of your rights by the Malaysian Bar (not the one where they serve alcohol beverages and soft drinks at a cut throat price).

Download this little book and read it so that you will know what to do when you are caught with your pants down by the police next time. Not that I want to hear of anyone really caught that way literally. Read some of the comments given regarding the book too, which proves to be quite helpful too.

If you want to do more than knowing your rights, you can always join the SOPF - Save Our Police Force by signing the online petition.

Once you have done all of the above, Malaysia will become a better place. Yeah...

The price to pay

There is a heavy price to pay for maintaining long distance relationship (i.e. Singapore).

50cents per Text (SMS)!!

At the rate I went before I realised, I am a few Ringgit poorer than before. But I guess it was worth it.

The obsession with money lately? Not that I am becoming more calculative, but it is a involuntary action due to spending too much. I have nearly blew nearly RM 150 the past two weeks. Mostly on food. And that is not good. I am way over my budget and that is really scaring me.

I don't like asking for money from my parents. Sure it is their duty to pay me allowance but not at the rate I am spending. *grumble*

I can't wait for the day I start earning my own living... till then, somebody save me..
*ends with Smallville's theme song*

p.s. Don't worry the-rest-of-the-people-around-the-world, I will try my best to keep in contact. Maybe the cheaper way. :P

Field trip

Train trip to and from Pulau Ketam: RM 5.80
Trip to toilet while waiting for boat: RM0.30
Boat ride from Port Klang to the island (one way): RM 6.00
A bowl of gone low ee min (dry brown noodles): RM3.50
Seeing a cute blond chick: Priceless..














At least that is the little consolation for travelling so far beyond the boundaries of my comfort zone to understand the workings of sewage system in an island. The sewage system (or the lack of it) is of no surprise as there are many ways to deal with it. Animals like crabs (what the island is famous for) and some anphibian fish would pick on the "nutrients" and put it back to where it all belong. It is true to the term that one man's, er.. shit, is another animals' food?

The oddest part of this island is that the smell most of us got is the smell of the rotting prawns and crab shells that most islanders wouldn't mind throwing onto the soil. Bare in mind that most of the island's activities are on stilts. The ground/ soil is a convenient site for dumping.

Not all islanders are like that. There is a small group who actually like the island to smell better. However, the small group does not have the right tool to start a crusade against such illicit act against nature.

The consolation of this trip? Yup, a cute blond chick. Hair colour is natural, or so we were told by the aunty we interviewed. To protect herself from us, she ran into the house to bring her sword but her weapon was her laughter. As we were leaving the house after the interview, she hid behind the window and shout at us.

And oh, people there are willing to take all the shitty questions we asked, literally. They do explain where their human waste go to and how the tide and animals would "take care" of their stuff. We were rather embarrassed to ask such questions.

In the end, we went home. Voila! Never would we ever do that again unless forced to go back there.


p.s. one of the guys who went a week ahead of us told us how unfortunate we were because we missed the opportunity to see real good looking ladies from other colleges doing their project too. I cannot begin to imgaine a pickup line suitable for such meeting - "Hi, what is a pretty girl doing in a smelly place like this?" Yeah, right.

A short one

When is it the right time to like someone? Is the person I like the right one? Would it hurt to wait and see or just go ahead and consider? What if someone better comes along or someone who is THE one comes about?

I once heard or saw a bumper sticker's perspective of a relationship (the not so serious one) - "choosing the right partner is like buying a computer; the longer you wait, a newer better one comes along (paraphrased)".

Is that what I really want? Or should I just wait for God to move? I know I would missout in His goodness by doing things my own way? Only time will tell.

p.s. There is no particular one yet. But several... *shock!*

Wazzup (pic)...

Long time ago, there was a boy who would spend a lot of his time writing non-sensical stuff online and no one would read about it. Soon, something bad happened and he no longer wrote again, until one day, someone sprang an oportunity for him, too tempting to say no. And for the first time in many moons, he started writing again.

Oh yeah, be scared. Be very scared... more rubbish is on the way. And the only way to escape is not to come to this web site. Anyway, nothing to report other than the fact that I am growing fat and not going to college.

Blame Chinese New Year, blame good food, blame good cooks. Now there are two cooks in the house. Sis came back from Aussieland and she vows to cook more often. Good news eh?

Anyway, I went up to Penang hill during CNY. Would have taken very nice pics but lousy camera and lousy shaky hands.


evening scene from the top of the hill

















Nice lovely garden with lights!













The bridge is not that clear, and the camera is a little shaky.














From another side of the mountain.















Dawn I think. I missed sunrise by being overtly tired. :(











Some ideas for my cooks.

















The Mansion/bungalow/big house on top of the hill. Used to belong to the Thai Ambassador a pretty long time ago. Soon, some guy was lucky enough to buy it. Pretty lucky :)






Well, there it is is for now. More to come in future if I am not too lazy to post.

Past, present, future..

So many things happened yet so little time. It is day four of 14 of deadline season. Everything that is due is either dued or going to be.

In the midst of such craziness, I went for this superbly interesting, marvelous, Christ powered, miracle filled Youth camp of mine, met people from other parts of the world, I turned down invitations to free lunch, dinner and movie, I will be working throughout the weekend to finish my work, I am going to shift into a new house by Sunday, I might not be able to present my work nicely, I might just scarpe through my remaining week of holiday before the new term starts on the 2 of January 2006.

Now, is that not interesting? Would I be able to finish all my work on time? Would a comet, meteorite, car, stone crash land and burn my homework? Would a super chun and helpful person come and offer to do all my homework? Would I be able to safe Jackhsiung's Christmas? Would I cry for the first time in so many years for not being able to finish my homework? Stay tune for next post...

p.s. Thanks for those who have been praying for me. :)

I am still alive

An update for the sake of updates. I am still alive. Just a little busy.

I am surprised that I could go so long not reading and writing blogs. Man, I miss all those funny posts by all those funny people. Here, is a little update in point form for people who are busy like me:

• It is deadline season: all homework and assignments are due within a short period of time. My course is coming to an end, in 4 weeks time.
• No credit: my handphone has had no credit since it recovered from its fall a few weeks back.
• Youth camp is coming: yeah.. one which I might not be going to enjoy. I might not have the time to! blewk..
• Moving to a new road - slowly: so slowly that people actually notice the progress in movement.
• Missing people: yeah, I miss proper human interaction quite a lot.
  
• Hungry: I eat the same thing each day even guys notice
• Hunger: My spirit man is.
• Homecoming: Many of my friends are coming back from abroad and I succesfully managed to mix all their dates. Brilliant eh?

How would I survive? Find out soon, if you see the next post.. ever..

Wake

Attending wakes should not be a problem for me. Having the heart of stone, this stuff does not affect me. So today, I went to the wake of the 15 year old girl who left us with two of my church mates.

Arriving late at the wake about 10 minutes late, we were led to our seats at the back corner. Booklets with songs of praise and worship were passed to us and we sang accordingly.

The difference this time was I was fighting back emotions of sadness. Although tears were coming, but it felt rather difficult to cry it out. When the singing ended, we sat down and listened to the testimonies of the Youth leader who prepared the girl for her final few days unknowingly.


******

The Youth leader "walked" with the girl from the moment she entered the hospital until the last day she left this world. The Youth leader played a vital role in keeping a spiritual well being of the family through prayers. At one point, she had a vision that God said it was time to call the girl home. After struggling for a long while, the Youth leader told the family about the vision and they too accepted it. The girl's last request was to hear or see the eldest brother who was studying abroad. When her brother called her before he boarded the plane, they spoke for an hour. As soon as the conversation ended, she was gone within minutes.

The eldest brother's testimony was just as powerful. At the beginning of this incident a few weeks back, he felt heavy hearted and the need of calling back. The family at that moment, decided not to break the news of the sister's condition for the fear of extra pressure on his studies. As days when by, again and again he felt sadness of which he could not explain. When the brother got news of his ailing sister, together with his some of his Christian friends they prayed. When the call came to get the brother to go back immediately, he missed the flight by an hour. The next available flight was the noon the next day. Going back to the hotel to get some rest, the brother got a phone call at 4 in the morning to talk to the sister. They talked for an hour or so and he went back to sleep.

The next day, the same cab driver brought him back to the airport just when the brother needed it so much. When he finally reached back here, the Youth leader went to pick him up. Sensing that the brother figured out that the sister has gone, the Youth leader prepared him by informing him the kind of visual to expect when he reaches home. The brother joined his family in a somewhat calm and collective manner.

*****

I am not sure if the I relate the story correctly or wholely, but if you could see that God was in everything, every part of this from the very beginning. No, we still do not have an answer as to why He decided to take the girl away from us but the tremendous effects and blessings on the lifes of many are simply amazing. It brought into realisation to many that life is indeed precious and it could be taken away just in the blink of an eye. Many people who knew her said they missed her so much.

But one vision was repeated each time when someone related it was that Jesus was with her through her pain and suffering. This girl is one tough cookie when she went through her chemotherapy sessions. The effects are painful as her doctor dad explained. However, the girl went through it without so much of a complain. A few mentioned a vision that Jesus was carrying her all the time.

One pastor from the Puchong church was approached while speaking as a guest in another church with a verse from Marks of Jesus telling a woman that she is completely healed (could not remember the verse).

Another remarkable thing about is that Senior Pastor mentioned that parents stayed on each day without fail with the girl. That means nearly 17 days in total. Not a part of a day, not half a day, but the whole day. Each parents taking turns in taking care of her, and always by her side.

It holds true. In the end, the girl is the victor in Christ. She is fully healed now in her new body in heaven. Some of the family members have accepeted this and are rejoicing now (especially the father and elder brother) knowing this fact by hard.

And I thought I was strong. The moment before we left, we went over to the coffin. As I approached it, a strong fear overwhelmed me and I dare not look into the covers until an aunt I was familiar with held me and together we looked in.

Until now, I am still overwhelmed and saddened. But I rejoice, with many others, knowing that she is safe now we Jesus, free from all suffering! Consider how a stranger has affected someone like me, what more if it is someone we know.

Here are two people who posted a journal on this, one is someone who is like me who kind of knew her; the other is her friend.

Departed

Three deaths affected me this past two days. And the odd thing is, I have not met 2 of the dearly departed but their death had a significant impact on me.

The first person is a 15 year old girl from a sister church who has been treated with lukemia for the past 2 weeks. Although we (people from our church) barely knew her, we were all asked to pray for her health as it was deteriorating. Some even took the challenge to pray round the clock by taking an hour each.

Her condition did not improve and as of the 1055hour, 7th October 2005, she has gone home. What would be good to know was that the family, friends and relatives stayed and prayed with her until the very moment she left.


The second person is 18 year old girl who passed away of suspected pnuemonia on Sunday Star. What really caught my eye at first was the name. At first glance, I thought I have lost a good friend. Fearing the worst, I read on. Only to find out it was someone else with the same name and a distantly similar profile.

Although it was a relieve, my heart was still shaken by the fact that life could be so fragile.


There are a few things I got from these two misfortunes.

• Life is fragile.
• Lives can just come and go easily. It is worst when it is someone you can more or less relate to. I would not say that I could fully relate to the things they have been through. But it affected me and it got me thinking about what I really want to do in life with people I know with before it is too late.
  
• What kind of life do I want to live and legacy to leave behind? One left this place after touching the lifes of so many while the other has so much potential. What do I have? Does being nice and helpful actually mean anything? I am not talking so much as about being proud of what I have done. But have I done enough? Did I do it correctly so that it affected positively on others?
• What does God say in the end when we finally meet. Would I be in a big surprise when together we sit down to review my life only to find out that I could have done better, or I have been doing things wrongly? How much of Jesus is factored in my life? Have I been so ignorant so much so often?
  
• What should the next few steps be? I have all the time my God is willing to bless me with. And I really need Him to guide me. My best wish would be to really see His ways clearly so that I could serve Him better.

To their immediate family, my deepest condolenses for your lost. May God bless your heart.

The third death, maybe we will keep it for some other day.