Neglect (PhD.)

Neglect, something which I master well. I was borned with it. I use it all the time. But of late, I tried concealing my amazing capability due to responsibilities. It reveals itself subtly once in a while. And people could see it well.

Nothing to be proud of. And I don't like showing off this capability of mine. Because, it causes chaos. It annoys people. It discourages people and losses trust and friendships.

Lately (again), I was told that I did not do my job. I have neglected my members. One feed back I got from one of my team mate was:

The change is not noticable. They feel like nothing has changed since being transfered. They felt leftout and coming for meetings is a drag. They rather be somewhere else. There is little or no follow-up. (Paraphrased)

I would admit that I do not have much time in the world to call everyone up and inform of the up and coming. My nights have been greatly restricted to sitting at home and trying to get some work done. The day would be going to college or church to finish my other errants. At least I make an effort to go through my checklist at least once a week.

The person who made the comment above, by all means should be forgiven. He does not know what I have been through, neither do I know what he is going through too. But it hurts me and angers me. I am not planning to take out my baseball bat to threaten him (searches in background), hmmm can't seem to find it. Oh wait, I don't have one at all. Silly me, maybe I will use my feather then.

To be honest, I admit, I have showed off my skill for that person to see to some degree. But that did not mean I neglected him totally. The past few weeks, I have tried to call him out several times so we could run some errants and chat at the same time. Other times I have tried calling him out so we could catch up a little. I called and send him messeges asking his whereabout in which he did not reply.

When I do meet him, he is always busy or looking for someone else's company.

Indeed we have our own life. Indeed he has his right to his opinion. Well, my team mate told me that he might come and see me to discuss about this particular issue soon.

Might. A good choice of word. I await for that day to come. Might, is what I really need from God now when it does happen.

At the mean time, let Him minister to me.

Politics

Currently, there are many things in my mind I want to write about. However, I have decided that politics should be more interestzeze.z.zz...z.....

*Snort. Where were we? Ah, Politics. I have been visiting this website about Malaysian politics known as Screenshots. This website has won awards like the Blogs Defending Freedom of Expression.

But today, I want to tell you of something I read today from Screenshots that took me by surprise. A link lead me to a BBC interview of a Malaysian triad. Read it and so would you be surprise.

Now, go forth and learn... or read from different perspective.

I starting to get the hang of Malaysian politics, I think.

Deep!

It is half quarter past two in the morning and I just concluded a discussion with my brother on life issues and perspective. For once, I have been paying at least 50% to what he said and tried to shut up most of the time. A few things I learnt through this discussion:

• I am the black sheep of the family in terms of thinking. Everyone else (in this family) thinks pretty hard and pretty long.
• God works in pretty amazing way through the lifes of people.
• Shut up and it will do you good by listening.
• Although some people may be struggling with priorities in life, they are still willing to move for God.
• Someone and my brother said that God's presence should not be in our carreer, safety, food provision, wealth or health, but in EVERYTHING and EVERY PARTS of our life.

Amazing. Simply amazing! Although I think I still have less issues in my life compared to my siblings, they serve God because He was there, is there, and will be there, to see them walk through the dark valleys into the light even if they know or not. Amazing!

OK, time to go get some work done before bedtime. Please pray for us as a family. And oh, for Lor too as she is enjoying herself in Phillipines.

Cheers!

How to clean your house

Do you have problems keeping your house clean? Finding it hard to maintain the house of your dreams (or not)? Here, are some tips on how to get around the magezines, books, cups and etc away from cluttering in the dining hall, living room and the floor! (Warning! Some of the following tips would require substantial amount of metal preparation.)

• Burn the house
• Buy a new house and shift in. Leave all of your rubbish behind
• Have a junkayard sale
• Hire a contractor (i.e. your kids, your kids' friends, your kids' parents, your kids...) and pay him/her lavishly
• Have a camp fire, or threaten too (Not related to the first option)
• Organise a function.

Before choosing any of the option above, the most important thing you must remember is that you want a house to stay at the end of the clearing up. Unless after all the years of cluttering, your rubbish has organically bond with the house, or it has become too toxic to be safely remove it.

The sane human of me decided to chose last option (without putting much thought into it, only to regret the decision until it was too late). My cell group decided to organise a BBQ for our non-Christian friends and finding the right place to organise the event proved to be much harder than organising th event it self.

After searching at several potential places was shot down (including one place with BBQ pit which cost RM200 and an apratment with one toilet down, no fan, termite infested floor, and leaking kitchen), my house was the only option. Without thinking about the psychological anguish that was to come after, I absent mindedly said yes. That was because my cell leader promised to help out too!

The front and back lawn is infested with wild growth (without proper care, grass can grow really really wild). It was like a tropical forest out there. After giving a quick trim, it became like the plains of Spain.

All the rest of the useful stuff (not rubbish in my sight) was shifted up stairs into different bedrooms or storeroom for sorting later. The floor was later wiped 3 times. Twice with clean water once with detergent (which I did not know it exist in my house).

So in the end, the whole house looked so much cleaner and lighter because all the rubbish (or not) has been hidden in a place out of sight.

*****

The function went well... although the place was in serious mess after that. Cleanning was really necessary otherwise it would be infested with rats and cockroaches. But the best part was, in the dirty environment, people still managed to eat, mingle around, got to know each other, have fun and clean up all the spills that happened!

The people I met other than my cell group members came from all sorts of background. And the interesting fact was most of them studied in the same secondary school. So it seems like the akwardness was reduced. It is also amazing to see how people's life were intervined in a way, no matter how far you go, you are still connected to each other through one friend or another.

My cell group members, amazing, seriously amazing. I have never seen them worked together at such wonderful pace before. They responded, took initiative and even offered to help without asking! I was really blessed!

So in the end, when it all ended, I could see that the visitors (most of them) seemed like they enjoyed themselves.

*****

In the end, when all things were cleared, wiping the floor in the deep silence of night, knowing that everything else has been cleared and the fact that God was helping me out throughout the whole event was just simply satisfying. Many things were simply going out of hand but yet He made it happened. And as a bonus, He gave me strength while cleaning the house even when it was nearly 1 in the morning! *chuckles.

Now, my house is very much cleaner than the many years before. For a limited time only, you can come visit my house with a small fee (food is exceptable). House is open 12 hours a day, call before you leave. It is either now or never!

Amazing... just amazing!

Note: Author is currently very proud of the clean house he is currently enjoying. Do contact him if more details is needed on how to clean your house!

Bus stop meeting?

I have been involved with the local public transportation sector these past few weeks. Due to rising cost in traveling by car (blame petrol, it cost me RM63 to pump a full tank when it was nearly RM55 the last time!) traveling to college by bus is the cheapest option. The reasons:

1. It cost RM3 per day.
2. The price remained the same the past 2 years or more.
3. It now cost me RM7 a day compared to RM5 before the price hike.
4. I get to sleep in the bus on the way back
5. I get to read while waiting for the bus to come
6. I get to meet people (or see) people, nice looking people while waiting for the bus to come. (some people would definitely protest to that)

Now, I usually see people instead of meeting people there. My traveling companion, also my classmate, does much more seeing than I do. And when there is something good to see, my friend will distract me from my book to see the nice looking people. To be honest, I am usually too shy to look myself. You seriously have to believe me!

One faithful day, my friend decided to attend the later class, leaving me alone at the bus stop. A bus came by and a lady got off the bus asking me for a if a certain bus has passed by. Telling her that I was waiting for the bus she mentioned, we started talking a little.

It went on for about until the bus arrived, until we reached our destination and until we parted our ways.

That was the end of it. Knowing that I might bump into her once in a blue moon.

The next day, the blue moon rose again. I bumped into the lady on the way back home from college with my traveling mate at the bus stop. A quick introduction later, the lady and I started talking. While my friend of mine, became absolutely quiet and look into the blank. We waited for the bus for almost an hour that day for the bus to come. The lady later mentioned that she has been waiting at least an hour before we arrived.

Like striking the lottery twice, the moon rose again on the third day and we met the lady again on the way back home. And immediately, she told us that she had been waiting at least an hour there. After a while, the lady convinced us to share a taxi back to home.

On the fourth day, my friend told me when we were leaving college that if we do bump into the lady, we will have to wait at least another hour before going home. As soon as we reached the bus stop, he quickly gave a quick scan of the area before letting of a sigh of relieve. When the bus finally arrived, I thought I heard him say "yippee". Well, it seems like the blue moon missed its cue.

All these meetings could be summed down to a few statements and a few questions. It is not that I am not glad to see her, I am afraid of seeing this lovely aunty! Don't get me wrong, she is a lovely lady and friendly. But there is this barrier of discomfort that bugs me, about our age barrier and her being a little too friendly. BUT, if she were to be 30 years younger, I would not mind. If she were to be a model, rich, smart, intelligent... well, you get the drift.

Hmm.. so what do you expect from all these encounters? Not much, we would be meeting more of her in future. Girls will protest to some of these, like Mythweaver. For understanding a little on why girls would do this, read this.

Cheers!

Parable of the bird droppings

The owner loveed his car very much but never took good care of it. Finally, after months of neglect and layers of dusts later, the owner decided to give his car a good scrubing. Giving the car something of which it deserves every month at least. Within one hour of starting, the accumulation of dirt on the car's interior and exterior has been reduced by a factor of 10 the power of 42. Much dish washing detergent and water were sacrificed in the process.

Feeling happy and regaining her original level of confidence again, the car was ready to show her body and owner without much shame. The owner decided to take her out for a ride around town, and took her out for a simple meal (which cost the owner RM10).

At night, the owner decided to have his meal with his mates while she was left to hang out with the rest of her friends under the tree.

Not known to the owner, that was a decision he soon regretted.

When the owner returned to his car, she was covered with birds' wastes. Shocked and clearly deranged (do not know what the word means but let's give it a try), he quickly drove his baby home and gave it a good scrubbing again. Neighbours peered out of their windows at 1 in the morning to see some psychotic maniac washing car in the dark (this did not happened, it was added to make the parable more interesting).

Within a short moment, she became clean again and the owner is happy again. Of course, you cannot see how clean it is in the dark until the morning star shines again.

*****

Moral of the story: Do not park your car under the tree. And was your car more often (what my mom keeps telling me).

p.s. This is the part where readers must go "Huh?"

Chinese?

"Are you really Chinese?"
"Yes."
"OK, you don't sound like one."
??!!??!

Yes, I am a Chinese. And I can speak Chinese too. I love Chinese food. And I like Chinese New Year very much, thank you.

But people keep on asking me. Their reaction to the fact that I can speak Mandrin has buffled them more than the mystery behind the rising price of oil recently. It might not sound like the typical M'sian Mandarin accent, but it sure provides humour to those who are willing to listen and annoyance to those who can't take it.

I can speak the language and several other dialects like Seng ning (my dialect which sounds like Cantonese, but with a slight pronounciation), Cantonese and Hokkien. But the sad fact for me is, some of my friends would rather have an English speaking me than any other things. Reason? I occasionally speak like a piano that needs serious tuning.

Intonation while speaking Chinese (language or dialect) is crucial. Different intonation for the same sound gives totally different meaning. Wait a minute, even the same sound with the same intonation could represent different Chinese characters! There are 5 different intonations. So, with much practise and juggling, you can be a master too, young ones.

Now, that is where my problem began. Although I have nearly 9 years worth of Mandarin classes (not inclusive of several extra years in kidnergarten), I still have problems with intonations. English is my primary language and my parents has always emphasised on good English (Not that my English is any better, but we will save this for another day:).

People don't find it hard to understand me, they just can't stop wondering which wire needs tuning in my brain. And they can't stop laughing.

Recently, the question of me being Chinese enough has risen to a new level. A few weeks back, this questioned dealt a death blow to my ego: "are you even Chinese?" That, was much more hurtful than "are you a banana?".

Why? Because I did not know a supposedly famous Chinese ingredient in some soup. Hmmm.. It can't go any worst.

I was wrong. Later that day, another friend asked the same question *ouch! The irony was that guy could not speak Mandarin even though he is a Chinese. :P

All is not lost fortunately, there is a small consolation after all these episodes. A few days back, I was waiting for my bus to come. A lady walked by and asked me in Mandarin if the one bus she was looking for has passed by. Nothing unusual about that. But what made the day was when we continued conversing, she found out that I could speak English! The reason why she initiated the conversation in Mandarin was because I looked like I came from China.

Now, isn't that great?

Inspiration

Yup, something which I do not have the past few days for writing my in. It has been several weeks now since my last entry (well, it seems like weeks to me :).

While I was not writing, I have been spending lots of hours in visiting blogs of my friends, blogs that I enjoy, and blogs of strangers. Each day, I spend nearly 2 hours (sometimes more) on reading blogs. ehehehe... I have my reasons. I am doing a research for my project.

What has that got to do with Architecture? Isn't your course all about buildings? Yes, it has everything to do with my course. You have to know that most buildings are meant for human beings. And human beings have different personalities and interest.

In our country, one of the most common buildings are terrace houses. Although the designs may vary from one area to another, it still a form of mass production in my point of view, leaving us with not many options.

My newest project in this new term is to create a house which suits the client's personality of our liking in a place so ulu (secluded in Malay, and it has a name. It is known as Ulu Yam). And I chose someone who flies aeroplanes. After searching high and low for a suitable profile through blogs and dating websites (I was really desperate), I finally found several potential clients that has enough information which informs me of their interests (other than their love for aeroplanes).

Of course, along the way, I found out several things that surprised me:

• There are websites of blog listing which specially caters to profession of the aviation industry.
• Dating websites want you to be a member before you can get any information about the person you are interested in.
• If you are not careful, you can venture in to blogs with connections to porn even within the profesion oriented websites.
  
• George Bush once had a blog.
• There are wars that goes on within the blogging community over blog comments (yeah, this is not part of the project. But I was bored of not finding anything interesting.)

Now that I have finally and officially concluded my research of my client's profile. I finally took time to write in. Well, I do not know when I will find my next round of inspiration to write again.

Cheers!

Yes, pray for me to finish my homework ON TIME and WELL and bless others without thinking too much. Pray that God is with all that seeks Him earnestly. Pray for peace at heart for people suffering silently everyday. Amen.

God bless you :)

What balance?

Life is definitely unfair. Just when you want something most, it does not come at all. And when you have finally decided not to pursue it, it returns to haunt you. Maybe not haunt you, but it makes you wonder if you actually deserved it.

I got to know my previous term's results and it was bad news. I did not hit the minimum required to continue receiving my scholarship. It is to my understanding that they (the college) are recalling it back and I will have to pay for studying now. All of these happened during a holiday I wanted to enjoy so much. Sadly, I did not enjoy too much of the time I had and now I am actually looking forward for the new term to term start. So I would have a chance to proof myself that I can do it.

Yup... but classes only start next week. And one week seems like a pretty long wait all of a sudden. *chuckles*, at least that leaves me with enough time to seek strength from God for the new term. I worry that I would fall back into the lazy self again, and I really hated it when that happened. Solution, find a good study partner or a torturer that would torment and remind me what I would be if I do not perform. :)

Ah, here is another case. It has been a long time since I have decided to stop having crushes on this particular girl I barely know. At the very beginning, I was too shy to talk to her. We only met a couple of times and greeted each other.

A good friend of mine told me to take courage and strike a conversation with her. Indeed, as chance allowed it, we talked about the weather and how each other were going home. And she said (paraphrased): "Oh, today my boyfriend is fetching me at 6." That was the beginning of a turning point. To put it crudely, she is off boundaries, a no-no.

Ironically, we met each other more often and at least we are having a friendship that is growing (I think) slowly.

A third example: Working in the event's department for is such a hastle and something very new to me. I would admit I was slacking in many aspect of my job and complained a lot. However, at least I was able to make decisions (I think, again) for the way things should go in my area. I got a friend to help me in the department and he has been the most helpful of all person.

After awhile, I got some wake up call not to neglect my responsibilities. I finally decided to actually do my job. However, I soon realised that my boss would rather inform my friend on going ons and updates rather than approach me. Decisions are made without my knowledge.

I had the biggest of mood swings the past few days and nights. One good example: Chatting online. I was happy talking to a friend in one chat window, and being serious and dissapointed at the next chat window. And the mood changed back and forth every time the chat window changed. Hmmm... man, I was as though I had the worst PMS. Now I know how it feels like to be left out. *sigh

What do you learn from all of these? It could be something about me, or human nature, or even as Christians who has a relationship with God. God is always calling and reaching out to us all the with such tender love and we turn away to love something else instead. Yet, we only seek Him when we need help from Him. Maybe what I felt is a small comparison of what He always feel. Pursuing vainly only to have it when we finally give up? And getting it not the way one expects it to be?

I do not know if people could see the relationship between this conclusion and the cases mentioned above. But that is how my brain is uniquely wired (it could mean either way). :)

p.s. Thanks Yew and Lor for the advise over chicken rice. Made me realised some important things. I would do my best in serving while being in the dept ;)

ADD-ON (0024hour):
I just chat with my friend not too long ago about event we were involved. And she told me the reason why helped although it wasn't her responsibility (and department) was because I was actually blur. Many people seemed to agree on that fact that I work too slowly and always seemed confused. However, no one dared to tell me.

For whatever reason why no one told me, I do not know. But I am greatful to have a friend who was willing to speak the truth although there was a chance it could hurt my feelings. The fact that no one actually tells me hurts me more than what state I am in. *sigh... Thanks Chea :)

Another person who encouraged me in the most unusual way. What blessings.

What does it say?

Some pictures taken in the past few weeks when the camera was never removed from my bag.




More than usual? My burger is related to a WC?



My other breakfast date.









Yup, sure brings back memories of an old game











How often do you see a dome which has gone for extreme diet?






Beautiful weather. Especially after the haze.





Gear with a sinking feeling..





Hanging clothes at the side of the field. A scene that is rare even at the place this was taken.






You like the pictures? You can ask it from me. :)

shower of blessings!

Sunday is a beautiful day. Sermon was about Jesus saying: I'll be back... (say it with a manly, German accent for more effect). It was a great reminder about the question on whether we will be ready if for what ever reason Jesus said He is coming tomorrow. Of course, do not be fooled by the question, it is bound to happen.

When Eld. Be gave an alter call, I was one of the first one to be up there! In a way I am proud because I would usually wait for 23 people to go up first before seeing whether I am I want to go up or not.

I was glad mostly because I wanted God to help me. And the fact is only He can help me. I guess I always make the mistake of relying so much on myself more than on Him. Eld. Be quickly prayed over me, and through Char, He told me "Perfect love knows no fear".

Followed on was during hang-out time, A. Flor decided to get me a Christmas@Park T-shirt. Sounds pretty strange, because Christmas is in another 4 more months away. That, did not bother me because I am getting a new T-shirt!!

So, brilliant is a word to describe today. Blessed by God is the phrase to describe what I am feeling now. Thanks :)

p.s. Welcome to my blog! My visitor count has gone up to 2!! TWO!! dua! tu! ngo leh! liong gor!.. buahahha...
p.p.s. Oh, another blessing is, the Wee sis' leftover egg sandwiches! yumm....

Hayyzzzzzz

Now, it is my turn to talk about the haze!! Yes, yes, I have finally comformed to the norm when all the other blogs in this country have been talking about it. Yes, it is unhealthy for the body. No, I did not get a face mask. No, I was not safe even at home as it looked pretty bad inside the house too. I would have escaped by hopping into the LRT and sit there with a nice novel to read while it runs its round (I have a plan for not paying a sum for traveling so far and so long), but that would mean waiting for the bus to come, and waiting means outside in this hostile environment!

One thing the haze reminds me off is the computer games with bad graphic cards. I used to play Need For Speed III on a lousy computer system. And a lousy computer system do not reproduce a scenery fast enough. So what you will see is when you are driving along, further down the road you will have things popping up towards you. And beyond that, it is shrouded with a blur "mist". Yes, it is like driving in the haze.

But the most amazing thing happened on thursday night when youth leaders (from church) met up for our weekly meeting. At the end of the meeting, our pastor prayed for haze to be lifted up, saying that it was scriptural. And it did work :) !!! When we left the meeting later, the sky was definitely clearer. And the next day, it was as though the haze was gone for good!

Yes, poor penang folks.

But one thing for sure, we believed in the power of God. And He made it happened. What blessings!

Now, pray for the people in the north who are suffering from the haze. So that the haze will stop coming back and paster anyone at all. Amen!

Depression

I assume that I am suffering from a little bit from mild depression. I supposed I screwed up a lot of things.

• There are two parking fines I am dealing with one of them threatening a court case if I don't pay up soon
  
• there is a streamyx bill totalling more than RM 900 under my name because I did not cancel the account almost a year ago when it was giving me so much trouble.
  
• my scholarship is at threat if I do not get at least 2.85 an above this term because I did not meet the mark required last term
  
• there are a lot of things not settled for my part in an event I am involved with, and my "boss" is chasing me.

Hmmm, now that I have listed all of it down, I can see how much trouble I am in. Lately I have been praying more often than usual. I do not know why, but it could be because of 40 days fast. I tried very hard to fast. First from food, then from meat, and then from a computer game and a few days ago, pringles.

The fact that I could not stick to one kind of fasting makes me feel bad too. Now that I am on holiday, I am rather demotivated. What more when I go back to college with so much trouble in hand (in two weeks time).

There are happy times, short happy times. Especially when I am praising God. But mostly I am feeling a little crappy because of all the mess I made. All the other time I spend praying, asking God to give me strenght and not bless me specifically. And yet I have little faith. I fear that I would be dissapointed. What am I to do?

I want to tell someone about all my troubles and yet I can't find a suitable "victim". Some victims know some part of the story. The rest are all hidden within my heart, in which only God knows.

God is not a victim, not at all... eheheh... He has been faithful and forgiving and helpful. But, I felt like I have dissapointed Him so many times. At the moment, I just need someone who walk with me through all my problems. Some one I could be accountable to. Some one who would minister to me. Some one to hold me in the hand and lead me.

Hmmm... God... help... please...

What a break!

Hmm.. it has been a long time since I last posted and so many things happened in between. There are so many things to tell yet I do not know where to start. But the most exciting thing to tell is about my retreat with the Youth leaders to Penang a week before my asessement, and the initiative I took in talking to the person I am interested.

As for now, I am on holiday while the rest of the world just got back to work and studying. What about my college friends? Hmm.. here is the hard part. I am not that close to any of them. Sure, we can talk, but not close enough to meet them up during the holidays to actually talk. Most would be working part time (I want to too), while the rest would have gone back to their beloved hometown, a small portion are aquaitances in college.

Sigh.. what am I to do? TV is not a very good option mind you. There is only so many hours in a day to keep me entertain. And more so this month is fasting month. I have finally figured out what to fast for, now the thing is to get going.

Well, it is pretty late now. I am saying this when I am on holiday? Kind of silly isn't it? Anyway, more things to come. Good night and God bless!

Butterfly escapes from nature!

The following pictures show a confuse butterfly which escaped from nature.

First stop was to visit all the walls and ceiling of my house








Soon, it got tired of my house and decided to find nature. Those are fake flowers coated with a layer of dust.







Finally decides to land on a package, waiting for the DHL guy to come along to collect it back to nature

Mosquito warfare!

Newsflash: Mosquitos declared war on household, again!

The United Needle Alliance has once again sent another wave of its fighters to take over the household. Striking mostly in the cover of the dark, the alliance a.k.a. mosquitos flies covert mission to attack and distract all its victims from their daily task.

However, defenders of the fledging households are not cooperating enough to eliminate this attacks. Individuals are found using all imaginative methods like the fan, hand brute force in defending their lifeline from being sucked dry. Such methods have been proven succesful to some degree but it does not stop the mosquitos from giving up.

New technology are available but the house's defend budget could not afford such sophisticated defence mechanism. Although proven to be succesful in other household, the head of this household dismiss the idea and denied the proposal of getting such in-mosquitonane plus stating budget constrain as part of the reason.

Individuals of this house have no choice but to continue fighting alone.

Bad reporting by Xiong

Personality test

I did a personality test on http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/whatamilike/index.shtml

Another proof that I still do not know how to do my blog properlly. I need help and I wonder where I will find it? hhmmm...

Anyway, I am a resolver. Go check it out ;)

Picture test

The egg and the mug. Interesting?

I actually thought this picture was interesting. With a little arrangement and setting the up the lighting effect, it came out pretty nicely!








This is another "proof" that I am trying hard to be a artisitic. Not very successful indeed. Hopefully people will find interest in the near future.


Well, I am still learning how to post pictures. There will be more to come. Stay tune...

Some test

I did a test in Kennysia's blog. I do not know how to link it yet but hopefully I will soon.

Oh, the test results? Here it is! Please note minishorts.net is for mature audience only.

Congratulations xiong, you are...

minishorts of minishorts.net

You are outgoing, direct, smart, pretty, and a definite go-getter. You are frank, a little too frank perhaps that sometimes you get on people's nerves and make them very upset. If people attack you, you hit back with triple the force without blinking because you are the kind of person who knows exactly what you are talking about or else you wouldn't talk about it. Your quick-thinking is what makes you special. You are an elitist.

Which Malaysian Blogger Are You?

Blog visit

I indulge in a little blog visit today, and made a little sinful detour to Sarong Party Girl website. I did not see any nudity as it was already removed and neither did I read any of her sexual fantasies.

To be honest, I was so tempted to "accidentally" discover upon those articles and pictures but I have failed. Thank God! Being a Christian, this is one bad testimony and how dissapointing God would be on me. My conscious mind was fighting with my conscience every single second I was visiting the website.

Indeed I know what is right and wrong, and what makes it worst is that I went on with it. I wanted to test the "water" and see how deep I can go on without actually getting into it.

Sometimes I wonder how is it like to turn to God at times like these? He is with us all the time, but we push Him aside so we can have a it our way. And then we feel guilty and we start running back to Him.

Someone once told me that in this context, we are already guilty of sinning by the mere thought of it. (Mark 7:20 and 21 NLV - And then he added, "It is the thought-life that defiles you. ²¹For from within, out of a person's heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder..)

Could it be because we know that He forgave us that we do it? The more accurate question would be could it be because I knew that He forgives me all the time that I do it all the time? I do not know and yet I do not seek after Him.

If you were God, you would be frustrated too right? I would. Please forgive me Father. Pray for changes in me and take care of my heart, Lord.

Source: www.Biblegateway.com

p.s. Sarong Party Girl's website contains a range of topic and not only the fame sex and nudity as claim by local papers. Like the rest of humankind, the blogger faces real issues too.
p.p.s. Neither am I trying to sound "holier-than-thou" but that is what is on my mind and what God is telling me.